Open Your Heart to Me

About a week ago, I had the feeling that I was in line with the universe. Somehow, I felt open to what it had to offer, and I found the universe seemed to understand and reciprocate in turn.

As I walked through the park, I ran into a former colleague, and was able to express some percolating ideas for the first time. She gave me positive feedback, and I was grateful for the opportunity to articulate my thoughts in that manner.

I texted a friend to say I was thinking of her, and she responded that she was a mere block away. It led to an unexpected meeting with a friend I rarely see.

I saw a play by an amazing playwright, whom I admire greatly, and was reminded that so much of what I admire about him is his ability to give voice to those who don’t always have one in our society. It ignited an ember of passion in me. “This. This is what I want to offer to others,” I thought.

I volunteered to sing at a large mass meditation, and found myself amidst hundreds of people, coming together where the World Trade Center once stood, to connect and foster community. I sat, as the leader elicited images of the ashes that were once there in contrast to what stands there now. The phoenix. Rising from the ashes. How much have I felt this past year that I was that pile of ashes. Could I have faith that I would once again rise?

As I meditated, I found myself sinking into images of gratitude. The eight minutes we sat meditating seemed to fly by, as I thought of all of the people who have touched me in my life. I thought of the fortune I’ve had to see so much of the world. I thought of my family, who has supported me through my less than typical life choices. I felt gratitude. And tears fell down my face.

This past week, I decided to end a connection I had been a part of for several months. The dynamic had felt familiar, but it hadn’t felt healthy. I worked it. I navigated it. And I realized that it was  leaving me exhausted and angry. So I said what I needed to say, and ended that connection. Less than twelve hours later, I felt a new, healthy connection form. It was a such a clear reminder to me that when I’m able to let go of things that aren’t serving me, there is suddenly room for things that will.

So I think about the things that I may still be holding onto- old relationships, ideas of myself, ideas of how my life should play out- and I think about how to let them go.

Open myself up.

Let myself rise.

And continue to feel gratitude for the gifts the universe sends my way.

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