The Fall

Change. It’s been on my mind a lot lately. I suppose part of that is natural, as the seasons once again shift, and nature continues to cycle through its patterns of death and rebirth.

While it is happening in nature around me, I also feel it in my social environment, as others move, couple up, welcome new lives into their families. Time presses on, and the only constant is change, they say. Whoever they are.

And I find myself thinking about my life: where change exists; where the potential for change exists; when does holding on to old patterns that felt safe in the past actually become the less safe option. As I work to be my best self, there is of course the factor of the external world and the factor of the internal world. The two go hand in hand, cannot be separated, cannot be pulled apart. It’s amazing how often the inner world can feel like the more overwhelming of the two.

I’ve learned over the past few years that the fall tends to bring for me some of the tougher emotions for me to sit with. Perhaps it ties to the shortening of days. Perhaps it ties to the leaves as they shift and fall. Regardless of what it is, I find myself swimming in the midst of questions and feelings bubbling up within me. It can feel disorienting at times.

I recently read an article describing the fact that most people don’t know what they are doing. As the article reached its conclusion, it commented that all of us are in deep water. The view, though, is amazing.

And I think of a friend who recently passed on this advice that was passed on to her:

“You know when you’re in the ocean, and a wave hits you?”

“Yeah.”

“Keep swimming.”

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2 thoughts on “The Fall

  1. another analogy a friend gave me about our perceptions of control in our own lives: you know those little driving wheels that they can hook onto car seats so that a little kid can feel like they are driving, when really they aren’t doing a thing? That’s all of us- we think that we are going along, thinking we are controlling the wheel, when really, we aren’t doing a thing.

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    1. Hmm. I’d like to think I have a little more control than that. Perhaps those cars in the amusement park where there’s a track. You can move the car, but ultimately you’re still following that path that was laid out in front of you? I may have to think about that a little more.

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